29th April, 11:45 PM:
It is 15 minutes to 12 in the night. Sleep is elusive and mind is clogged. In simple words, I am not sleepy and so just thought of de-cluttering my mind. A new day would start soon, though these days, there is nothing such as a new day or a holiday or a blue day for me. All days supposedly are the same, provided I try to do something different, by picking up small fights with mom out of deliberation or by not allowing dad to use his computer when he needs or sulking away as usual when husband doesn’t call everyday pertaining to his weird work locations and job constraints! Sometimes, anticipation is a royal pain and impatience is like an unseen demon chasing you, leaving you distraught with nowhere to go! It just does not let go off your back for oblivious reasons. However, these days social networking, blogging, reading and playing my keyboard manage to keep my idle mind from churning irrational thoughts, apparently an outcome of illogical fears which now seem to be a part of life. And my addiction to Internet has been a perfect gateway from such bouts of trepidation, definitely for good. Not that I don’t read books any more, but I prefer reading blogs to books. May be, because I love to read personal experiences and short stories written by some of my blogger friends who are gifted writers. Many of them are not even aware of what an inspiration they have been for me when it comes to writing. I wish I could write like them. Perhaps, some day I would…..
And when it comes to writing stuff, it reminds me of days when I used to work as a content writer in a small firm. There I was required to write approximately 3 articles a day, each containing at least 600 words. Those days I used to think, after writing so much, blogging would be fun! And after office, when I voluntarily sat down to blog, my mind used to stare back at me like a stranger who had absolutely nothing worthwhile to share with! Though there were a jillion moments that I would have wanted to pen down then, never did that urge fortify enough to push those thoughts into an MS WORD document or a diary! And I am so used to typing now that diary writing is something that I seem to have retired from, ages ago. Even the word sounds like an echo from another world! I used to write diaries when I was in school. And as I scour through them today, I wonder whatever has happened to that habit! Where did it go? Habits die hard, but somehow this habit disappeared even before I knew it was with me. A couple of days before, as I tried writing a sample letter (after much coaxing from my sister to resume my at least one good habit!), all I could see on the paper was some gibberish, which was more unintelligible than what toddlers of today scribble (that might still be comprehensible). Perhaps the mind musings are churned at a rate faster than the speed of the electronic pulse racing from the brain to the fingers! Now, I do not even remember having used a pen in the last 5 years, except when I had to make some signatures or had to fill up some forms! Perhaps I have to start from scratch, the art of holding a pen and writing on paper……looks like I would be pre schooled very soon…..
30th April, 12:40 AM:
…..and it is already the next day and I will be hitting the bed in the next few minutes. The last day of April ‘2011 has already started and I wish the next month starts on a good note soon, and may it arrive with fresh juicy mangoes as a treat! And that’s all for now…bbye…..