31st December ‘201111:50 PM, Saturday:
The wait that started…..is now coming to an end. Today it is the last day of 2011. The Sun that will rise tomorrow brings with it a lot of promises that shall be fulfilled. People, when they wake up tomorrow will rise with a lot of hopes……Hope to live, Hope to love, hope to work, hope to start a new life, hope to move on in life, hope to make things right and last but not the least, the undying hope to survive all odds. Yes, a new year has so much to offer. It is like a new beginning. All of a sudden, past becomes less relevant and the future ahead seems to pull the hopes towards it. The feeling for some is euphoric and for some, it is absolute anticipation. Still, what remains common is the hope that welcomes the new beginning so eagerly…..
…..And the clock will strike 12 in about 30 minutes from now, I recall this time window, many memories flash in front of my eyes today…..Days of happiness, days of sadness, days of laughter, days of loneliness, days of heavy work and days of boredom…..and most days were the ones filled with chaotic moments that I could barely do anything to keep the fears of unknown away. Considering the fact, that hubby is an army officer and was posted in an active field for a while (sans family accommodation), the past two years of my life have been tough, challenging, grueling and most taxing! I never figured out how tough it could get being an army wife, until these years came and made me realize the true meaning of what they say, ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’. As As I reminisce each instance, I realize how much life can teach in subtle ways the real meaning of patience, the real meaning of love and trust, the real meaning of respect. Pertaining to my husband’s work environment back then, we couldn’t talk for days and with no news about his whereabouts in those times, the feeling of dread couldn’t get any worse. No mobiles and land lines actually operated at a height where he was earlier posted. Those phases have been insanely cruel. Sometimes, when he spoke to me after a gap of 4 days, we could talk precisely for just 50 seconds through an exchange number. I have felt exactly how short one could fall of those seconds just to say those soothers, ‘love u, take care and bye!’ No wonder, now that his field tenure is over and he is back in a civilized society where people can be easily reached through phones, I still end up dialing his earlier station number out of habit! Sounds funny? Perhaps for people who have been mere spectators can laugh about it. But those who have shared or are still sharing my state can relate to such instances clearly, as they offer nothing but insecurity and fear. And it was not just hard on me, but pretty much hard on my husband too who couldn’t talk to me when he wanted, couldn’t hug me when he wanted and couldn’t watch and feel the kicks and yawns of the beautiful life developing inside me then. Now being a couple of weeks away from my manzil, I can clearly comprehend the saying – “Life is not just a bed of roses!” After all, roses have thorns too! Such is the way of life, isn’t it?
But then life has been good too. My adorable parents who have put up patiently with my severe mood swings in the last two years, my loving husband who comforted me every time I panicked for no reason a month before my son was born, my friends who have been a constant support to me, and my dear son who now defines the very purpose of my existence, have made me realize how lucky I am and how happy I should be, in spite of some not very favorable moments that peeked in at times to corrupt the sanity of mind. And that is when I realize, if I have got hurt by one, I have been supported by ten. Perhaps, I must have done something good to deserve the goodness of the people who define my life now. And as this year ends, I have also realized how wrong it is to be judgmental of a situation/person, how futile and debilitating it is to get affected by a pessimistic crowd, and how important it is to ignore certain instances in life to attain a peaceful life ahead. None of the above realization for me came easy. Yet, it did find its way towards me and I feel glad for a fact that I too have evolved as a better human being with time.
Now as 2012 is approaching, I look back and take a stock of the lessons life has taught me. Won’t say, “I have learnt”, but yes, life has done its duty of teaching. The imbibing part will take its time though…..which has started…..
So, welcome 2012! And wishing everyone a lot of happiness, prosperity, success and goodwill …..
Cheers & God bless…!!