18th March 2013:
The catheter that was surgically inserted on the right side of my neck was connected to a filter wherein the plasma from my body was to be drained out. Meanwhile, a lot of saline and antibiotics were pumped into my system to keep me rehydrated. And my blood pressure was monitored every 15 minutes. My sugar was monitored too. My heart rate was a bit erratic and that was raising eyebrows already. Still, when there is no choice but to endure, there is a sense of optimism that springs up from within. In my case, I was waiting patiently for the procedure to start. When it did, after a while, I felt my body grow cold and numb. I felt as if each part of my body was slowly turning to ice. My throat was parched. I could not take anything orally yet, and so I begged for a nurse to feed me water through the riles tube that was inserted through my nose, that led to my stomach. However, the protocol did not allow anything to be given orally. So I was nothing but a body of ice that was lying in an absolute state of ennui, where at times, I felt I would not pull through. And in those moments, I saw the deep compassionate eye of my son that beseeched me to pick him up and smother him with hugs and kisses. My blood pressure hit a new low in the coming minutes, as low as 60 and the lab technician suddenly sprang up from his seat and jolted me out of my dream like state. He told me constantly that I was doing good and I needed to relax. I waited and waited. After three hours, the first cycle of dialysis got over. I was weak. I could barely open my eyes. I waited to get back, to my son, to my world. Surprisingly, that night I slept well, even as a fresh batch of plasma was injected into my system. The next day would bring some hope…..
Lines on that day: Pain, coldness, numbness all become small when you surrender to the Almighty.