A long time since I blogged. A really long time! Not that I had nothing to write about. But my busy and idle times have been tricky. When my head was brimming with thoughts, I would be preoccupied with something. And when I seem to have everything in place, laptop in hand, nothing to do and with my son sleeping, I fall into the trap of writers block. Nevertheless, I just decided to tap a few keys today. Guess, I needed the idyllic feel of my laptop keys and the warmth that exudes from the screen, every time I open a fresh word document to vent out.
But then, that is not entirely the reason for me visiting this space. Just that I am in a slightly remorseful mood. Wish I could just get certain things out of my head. OK! Not that things aren’t fine. They always are. But it is mostly the human tendency to goof up on good times, always! Isn’t it? And in my case, when I feel things are going just fine, that instant is always a jinx for me! And I just figured out that I am quite that awfully unique someone who always in the rarest of rare instants invites some elusive Pandora box to unlock itself and throw up on me! Well, let’s say I just got into a situation today where I said something I din realize I had said and later realized I shouldn’t have made my point the way I did! And my expression was entirely this, “OMG! I think I should not have said what I just said”. I guess, such incidents happen with everyone at some time or the other. Some realize it. Some don’t. And in my case, I realized a little late. But then, any realization brings another unsavory character with it and that is regret. Regret takes on the form of a villain whose nature can only go from bad to worse. The longer it lingers, the worse it makes you feel. And needless to say, it eats into your grey matter as well. That said, I was still brooding over my inadvertent mistake, my father came and patted me. I was about to share my pent up story with him, when he stopped and said, “I don’t want to know the cause of your sore mood. But I know what can make it go away.” And he continued, “It is ok when you make mistakes. Sometimes, you don’t really mean to say certain things, but you just say it. And you may not have necessarily meant what has been interpreted. But it is fine. Just let it go. Don’t brood over it. The time, the instant it happened is now a thing of past, no matter how many seconds before it happened. And one should not live in the past. What matters, is lessons learnt.”
And, that got me peace finally. It just happens that at certain moments, we do behave in a different way, or make certain statements. Those moments may not be necessarily mood driven. Sometimes, they could be destiny driven too. OK! I am not getting into a self consolation mode. It is just that we often behave in a designed way, no matter how hard we try to live by self defined instructions. Because, one cannot be perfect all the time. Isn’t it? But then, I would not prod into my own fiasco much. But given a chance I would wish that my words need not be interpreted the way they have been. As I know, words cannot be taken back. But lessons sure can be!