The main drawback of good times is how they remind you of what you could enjoy or, what you have been missing out on. Or, is it the harsh flip of time when suddenly you find yourself midst the unknown, with unclear intentions floating around and, with people trying to get the most out of you for reasons best known to them? I am not sure.
At this moment, nostalgia seems to be my biggest enemy and it is perpetrating my clarity of thoughts.
Yes, I made really good friends in the earlier place. Here, I am yet to see a soul as my next door neighbor. Since when did I miss out on the ironical truth of life that one needs to find solace in the company of self too? Or, did I not actually miss that out, but am getting the rougher drift of life that, man is after all a social animal! Right! Somewhere at this juncture, I feel stranded. I feel suffocated. I feel a little out of my place. My son feels the same too. Unfortunately for me, I cannot emote the way he does, by crying all over the bed, or throwing tantrums just for the heck of it. How do I explain to my son, that we are in a new place and we are not going back to Mhow anytime in near future? It pains me when he says, “mumma, I have packed my bags and we have a train to catch for Mhow! When are we leaving? I do not like this place!”. I am not sure how to answer that especially when I feel the same way too. Friends who became family in Mhow are missed so dearly that suddenly the greenery around, the barasinghas, peacocks and the flock of birds that perch on my porch no longer interest me! Worst of all, I have not been able to pick a job that should keep me busy. The time has not been ripe for it as yet, as the chances have come down to just beating the odds! Or, maybe I have let this phase pass…..
It is now that I realize when the senior ladies told me a thing or two about unit life. “You are never going to get a place like Mhow! Unit life is never going to be easy!” Yeah. And that reminds me, how things never came easy to us. Well, for hubby and I, struggles have been like a regular drill. And then, so be it! If that Almighty puts us to test, then he shall sure give us a way out from the test too. At the moment, the optimist in me is keeping the fingers crossed.
Lines for the moment:
Everything happens for a reason. The reason has to be good.
And, this too shall pass!!