(1) A month back, my friend P gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I wished her on Facebook and was glad that of the eight members in the Octopus group of our college (yes, we are the eight dangerous tentacles of Octopus), four of us are now mothers to adorably little octopuses! A month later, I rejoined my college group on Whatsapp.
P: Hey welcome back! We missed you a lot! Hope your phone is working now!
A: Look, who has come again. Welcome back, nani…we missed you a lot. How are you?
S: She is like a visitor here! Chalo, ayi to sahi! Kabhi baat bhi kar liya karo yahan pe!
M: Arre nani…..kidher thi itne din…..Arjun kaisa hai?
And the welcoming went on until I thought I should initiate some conversation from my end too! And, I ended up asking..
Me: hey all….How have you all been? Long time indeed…..And, P, when is the little champ coming?
There was a sudden silence in the group that I did not understand. Some expressed with confusing emoticans! And then, there was a barrage of ROFL!! Now, I do not want to remember how horribly I got trolled just the way Alia Bhatt was, for her incredible display of IQ on Koffee with Karan. P being a good friend had a good laugh too, but not before gently reminding me that I had already wished her on the arrival of a beautiful bundle of joy who was already a month old. THIS is what happens when you hop homes twice a month!
(2) I am still getting used to the touch screen of my new phone. And then, there is this auto correct that makes things worse! The other day, I was chatting with a friend and wanted to ask her, “How are things?” and the ‘i’ got replaced with ‘o’, thanks to auto correct and I had typed, “How are thongs?” She was ROFL! The second fiasco happened when I wanted to write, “One sec please!” and the c got replaced with x. I shut down my phone and wanted to bury my head in a sandpit! Auto Correct, Just DIE!!
(3) So, one fine day I had gone for some grocery shopping. Not that I had a long list with me or I desperately needed to buy essentials, I had just wanted to indulge in retail therapy. And so, I did buy way too many items. Looking at my basket, people thought I had never seen a retail store in life! The only thing I was glad about is that my bill did not empty my wallet completely (which meant, I could buy more). Stores have stopped giving away polythene bags and so the items were put in cloth bags that could barely hold them. I was least bothered as I had parked my car just a few steps away from the store entrance. And so while leaving, I was loaded with about five unshapely cloth bags filled to the brink, that I had to carry like babies in my arms. Just as I stepped out of the entrance, two of the bags slipped from my hand and the contents were strewn all over the place! With three bags blocking my view, I almost stumbled over the mess and had a nasty fall and I wondered, if hubby had passed his resentment in telepathic waves! Well, I carefully picked up the items, placed them in the car and raced away, swearing not to buy if I had nothing to buy! However, my woes did not end there. When I drove back with son in tow, home and I parked my car in the shed and got out, I was greeted by an army of langoors right outside! I had to wait for at least 30 minutes before I honked like crazy to drive them away. Well, two of them were so intimidated that they jumped on the car roof and on the bonnet for long and stopped only after I screamed my lungs out for it to stop!! Phew….. That was one hell of a day is all I can say!
wives have endless commitments and social engagements. So, whenever I had to leave for an engagement in late noon, I would wake up my hubby and ask him to close the door once I leave. On one such occasion, he probably forgot. When I came back home, I saw that the living room was a mess. There were footprints of an animal I couldn’t identify as to whether it may have been a dog, or a monkey or a langoor
or whatsoever! So, I unconsciously got into a habit of locking the door whenever I had to go for some chores outside. So the other day, I had yet another engagement and I decided to take my son along. As usual I told hubby to lock the door and I left. While in the meeting, my phone kept buzzing incessantly and I had to excuse myself as it was hubby calling. “What did you do? You locked me inside! What is wrong with you? I have to go for Games and I am late because of you!”
And, I realized that, not only had I locked him inside, I had also displaced my keys somewhere, which was later found under the seat of the gypsy I had travelled in. I do not want to mention how the later part of the evening went for me. It is just too obvious!
(5) And, there was this one incident that was like a cherry on top of this fantastic beginning of 2015 for me! I had been to a Walmart Franchise in the town and was awed by the warehouse that stocked almost everything you can want under the Sun. I had decided only on essentials though I ended up filling my basket with some desirables like mushrooms, bell peppers, dried apricots etc (things I could not get in the cantt). It was only after I reached the billing counter I realized that my basket contained unfamiliar items, things I had not even touched. And the 1 kg of fresh tomatoes and half kg of carrots were gone. In its place, there was 2 kg packs of gram flour that was cut from the end, thereby spilling flour all the way. It was only then out of the blue, it struck me how a lady had casually put her hand into my basket and pulled out a coffee mug. The moment I saw her questioningly, she had placed it back and moved on. Well, not that I paid for anything I had not purchased but I was amused at the attitude in certain people. Laziness can touch the sky too! Well, besides my tomatoes, carrots, mushrooms and bell peppers, the other items that were missing from my basket were, a pair of kitchen napkins, a scissors and a few packets of mixed pulses. Lesson learnt that day, was not to leave the basket unattended even for a second!
Well, the world has every reason to laugh and now, you may!!