…..Every end is a new beginning.
That is one of the core life teachings. Isn’t it?
2016 is ending. 2017 is much awaited. I have always felt a thrill every time, a year ended. But since the past few years, the thrill is not effervescent as it was before. Now, it is just another year that will come by and end too. Yes, the good part is the vacations that tag along towards the end. More family time, more bonding time and more outings with families are the perks that make the year end so enjoyable. And yes, it also includes meeting extended relatives.
So, while I look forward to 2017 as a part of the drill I have always followed, it is also a habit for me now to reflect on the years gone by. Change is so subtle and yet, so firm. It transforms you while you are oblivious to the change coiling around you. I surely felt like Mogli in Ka’s embrace all these years. But then, change is always for good. Isn’t it?
The increasing number of greys on my head remind me – “Girl! You are just less than a decade from the magnificent 40!“. Magnifique!, indeed! So, for those who have felt I speak less and, for those who prayed that I would shut up, I still continue to oscillate erratically between tranquility and cacophony.
Meanwhile, my head is becoming too loud and so, my ponder lust continues to unveil…..
- There was a time, when entering an argument for me seemed like diving into a piece of chocolate truffle. Now, I am repelled by arguments. I have stopped watching new since a year and more. I sometimes even wonder if the people sitting in those studios even know what they are talking about! Maybe, I belong to a different era where people like Atal Bihari Vajpayee and George Fernandes were looked up to. Sigh.
- I don’t get the intolerance around – Vegans versus Non vegetarians, Traditional versus Contemporary and Religious versus Spiritual. Live and let live is not easy, it seems. I am NOT vegan and, I am NOT religious. And, I oscillate between traditional and contemporary. Just that I firmly believe in the theory of good karma and kindness. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t see through what I feel about. But I am finding my peace now. There is a great sense of contentment in acceptance of people. Yes, I have come to that stage where my father’s words resonate louder – “Accept people as they are. You will find peace.” Well, I am still learning to accept people. The process is on.
- Advice is a stinger. I have never liked it. And in all these years, I have realized that giving advice is as distasteful as taking advice. No one learns from the other’s experience. Self experience is the best teacher and, I totally get it now. So these days, I just observe. Being observant gains you a lot of perceptions of which some are surely entertaining. And yes, whoever reads my blog – “I am averse to taking advice, especially from people who are younger. Age may not be a big deal but, when it is about life lessons, it is!” The same reason why I feel respectful towards elders for the one reason that they have seen more years of their life than the next gen and, there is definitely something extra in their experiences.
- Home makers are still looked down upon. I am not happy with that perception. People have to be more sensitive and sensible. But then, maturity and wisdom does not come naturally to people. Sad, no?
- When hubby and I got married in 2010, we did not have inkling about what it meant to have children, raise them…. Besides, in that time window, fortunately (yes, very FORTUNATELY) there was no Barbie doll/tomboy who would have said to me – “So soon? Don’t you want to enjoy some more couple time?” Even parents were surprised (pleasantly of course as I conceived in the same year of my marriage). And, we underwent a sea of change thereafter. Because, after our son arrived, hubby and I became more tolerant towards each other’s idiosyncrasies and, were more appreciative of each other’s verve towards sustaining the balancing act on the rope called marriage. Well, I cannot explain that feeling of togetherness our son got us, in words. All I would say is that, a child does bring a husband wife closer in untold ways.
- Crowd intimidates me. I am not sure, why. Just that, I detest crowded places. And so, I do not like visiting social functions like marriages and ceremonies like poonal and pujais et al. I also do not take very well to hectic temple tours (temple hopping to be precise) where running around, gossiping in queues about the waiting time, getting squished between strangers and, after all those hours of waiting, getting a glimpse of the deity while the temple priest is in a hurry to shoo you off after that nano second meeting, defines ‘being God’s children’! Instead, I love to visit smaller temples where I go whenever I feel, do the pradikshana, chant my mantras in peace and, have the simple prasadam and importantly, sit in peace for as long as I want. Yes, I love that ‘me’ time where I am able to feel the silence between me and the maker – a silence that both acknowledge, a silence that makes us aware of each other.., a silence that reminds me that I will get the rope from Him when I need it. As for social functions, if I were to only sit back and watch the proceedings, I would have had a totally different take on it. But then, I do not take too well to prying questions and non stop advice on why I should plan a second child soon and why, I should be a full time working lady again. (Refer Point 4 – What makes people think that full time home makers are jobless? Only because their work is thankless?)The questions never stop. Will they? Sometimes, I also wish, we had more faith in God Himself than in the men who proclaim to be His men. Just a passing thought.
- With time, I have realized that I have transformed into a private person. I am not comfortable with the art of socializing much in the real world. (In the virtual world, I am more often than not, socializing with myself) Or let’s say, I am averse to the idea of sitting in a group. Somehow, I am mildly repelled by the idea of instant bonding. But then, a dear one keeps reminding me time and again – “No person is good or bad. It is the time that oscillates between the good and the bad. So, don’t get instantly judgmental” I am beginning to understand it. So, I am slowly breaking out from my introvert nature (although it is a root personality for me, I may not be able to leave it, but surely can branch out a little).
- Nowadays, I like to converse with old people. Something about them gives me an assurance that the world is good still. Some sound boisterous whereas, some are of the mellowed down kind. Either way, I love to hear them out as they share interesting anecdotes from their younger days. Recently, I had visited an old age home with some ladies from our station and, it felt good seeing the beautiful bond of friendship foster between the individuals who had been left there by their kin for reasons best known to them. It is only after talking to some I realized they do not crave for some fierce respect. All they want is some acknowledgement of them being a happy part of their children’s lives. And, it dawned on me why I feel assured in life’s rugged and jagged pathways, because we have a protective shield around us, that stems from the blessings of our elders. Every time I speak to my late MIL’s mother – Padma Paati, I feel a sense of contentment. She is the silver haired great granny to my son and, her eyes twinkle with a rare insight while her pearls of wisdom invoke peals of laughter besides impacting our thoughts positively. That said, I miss my maternal grandmother a lot. Still.
- Years back, I would have craved for some exotic trips abroad or even, a lucrative career that assured me of added financial security. (I had my chances in abundance when son was months old) However, now I have simple wishes in life. To age gracefully with hubby and, raise the son in a way that tomorrow he has wings to fly and roots to come back! (This time, his Annual day theme was Roots and Wings. What a beautiful concept, no?)
- And, last but not the least, 2017 – be nice to all of us. Mother Nature, it would be shameful of me to ask you to be tolerant while, my tribe – the human kind is leaving no stone un turned in ruining your creation. I sincerely wish that the much raved about statue to be erected in one of the cosmopolitans of India does not see the dawn of the day, something that is being planned on your misery. But then, that is wishful thinking. Sigh.
And people, use social media judiciously. It is not important to share anything and everything under the Sun. Please verify what you share/tweet/post! Like a recent false tweet sabotaged the name of a fine dining restaurant in Hyderabad! (How can people take pleasure in such acts, is totally beyond me!) Be cautious and, be aware.
Also, I hope that tolerance and brotherhood reign supreme in 2017. Let the end of 2016 be a new dawn for 2017. Cheers to the new year! God bless!