…..anger is the first condiment we want to add!
How many times have you been able to control your anger when the urge to scream your lungs out with the most piercing words was simply tearing you apart?
How many times have you gulped down water so that you could just divert your mind towards feeling the soothing liquid slide down your throat because, even a little diversion is a great diversion from your woes?
How many times have you mentally waged wars on people you don’t understand, and not necessarily hate but, dislike intensely given their lack of empathy and understanding?
How many times have you felt victorious in bringing a person’s ego to your boots in your head because, reality of that sort is simply far fetched?
How many times have you felt disillusioned with all this anger within you because you feel a misfit, a misunderstood human, an angry human?
Anger is quite a potent emotion. Boy, how it plays your mind at times! The most fierce phase of this emotion is when it wants to flow out and, it is restricted. It is like getting that one last high smoking the last cigarette! But alas, it is never the last time.
Because, giving in to anger is like pressing the button for a chain reaction to begin. There is no end to getting angry then.
Because, when the chain reaction begins, even immaterial instances such as a cluttered home, a cranky child, an indifferent elderly and a, half read book rake the hormones within you.
But does that mean, one shouldn’t get angry?
While I have read countless books on de-stress and calming down and have attended a few lectures too, I have realized over a period of time that nothing prepares you physically or mentally for a situation that you haven’t encountered yet. Even if you are encountering a similar situation again in life, you still shall have some new hiccups that you may not have met in the previous one. And, it is an observation that when a scenario emerges with an unsavory change in energies, anger and confusion are the easiest emotional attire for the mind. No amount of energy management or calmness prepares you for situations you never knew, existed.
The past few weeks made me realize a thing or two about harsh times. One, you and you alone will have to bear your cross no matter how heavy and suffocating it is. Two, you will always find a way when you trust yourself alone.
For some good reason, this post decided to tumble out of my head considering how slow the past few weeks went for my family. The way some events turned out in recent past is a stark reminder of how expectant we tend to become whenever we have something to look forward to. And, how disillusioned we become when, we don’t seem to get all the brownie points we wished for.
These weeks also reflected to me, my own emotions and mind map that has been tangled into a tight knot of unfiltered emotions. It is said that when you cross a certain green patch in your journey, you may find some potholes ahead, too many in one patch. And, that is exactly how the year 2018 began for me. It felt as I was jumping over those abysses that were suddenly spurting from no where. Anger became my defense mechanism for my vulnerable side for a while as I couldn’t do what I wanted when I wanted. Also, tt is difficult to stay cool and composed when too much of unsolicited advice comes your way. And that is when, I was reminded of what my dad said to me when I was going through a health crisis about five years back.
“There is no need to tell people when you are going through a rough patch. One, not many of them will be able to help you in any way. And the ones that want to, might unintentionally create more confusion for you by giving too much of advice which, only adds to your anger. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. Help will arrive in unsaid ways. You just have to trust the Universe. With a lot of patience.”
The way my parents and my husband kept the news of my health crisis then, a secret from the world was simply an act of courage as I see now. When I was going through what I underwent then in 2013, I accumulated a lot of anger towards the Universe for putting my family through a pain they neither deserved nor were prepared to endure. But the same anger also taught me to be patient. It was as though I was being put through a series of pressure tests of the incomprehensible kind where I could almost feel my mind as a separate entity. The mind had gone insane for a couple of weeks in that web of agony until, I hit the rock bottom.
And, that was my moment of epiphany.
You need to gulp anger to taste nectar.
You need to hold that anger and, shape it into something tangible.
You need to bring all that anger together and, vent it in a way that it comes out in some form healthy.
Anger, I have learned over the years, is as potent as fear. It is as powerful as fear. It is as enlightening as fear.
It was that year 2013 and this, 2018 when I realized how potently the mind is controlled by anger and fear of unknown. Mind in itself is such an entity that works like there is no junction to take a pause. It has so much to give. Unfortunately, it does not have too many vents. Somewhere in our body, there are energy blocks that force us to go into a shell and, remain listless till we wait for the phase to pass on, which becomes slower with the whiff of that thought and attitude. It is as if the mind and the body work at diametrically opposite paces. And, that lapse in their coordination results in anger over self, people and the situation.
For instance, when a maid ditches you without notice on a day when you need her help the most is one of the common examples of intense anger towards a human whose standard of living is way below yours. Or say, you gave a responsibility to someone and, that someone did not care two hoots about it…Or, when you are not only NOT appreciated but, are depreciated for a good work…..or when, you want your child to finish a given work, but the child simply doesn’t do it NOT because the child is incapable but because the child doesn’t want to….There are umpteen instances in our daily grind that are priced examples of this lapse.
But does that mean, we shouldn’t get angry?
I, for one would never advise the ‘no anger’ concept. Like gulping down a glass of water may soothe your tongue but not your mind. It is all about channeling that anger. And that my friend, can never be taught. Do you want to learn how to control your energies? No human can teach you that. Because, you are born with the knowledge. To unlock that chest of knowledge, life gives you experiences that put you to test without preparing you. And then, when you have sailed through that phase and, heave a sigh, you realize – “Wow! How did we all come this far?”
But wait, life is like that. When you just sit back and pride yourself over having won one battle from the millions to win or lose yet, life already begins to set the arena for subsequent ones!
Your life is your best teacher. Do NOT let anyone tell you otherwise.