Someone said something nasty about women and, I did not like it.


There is something very disturbing about men who feel that women should fight back in cases of sexual harassment THERE and THEN because WHEN they DON’T, they are ‘COMPLICIT’ in the crime about to unfold.

This kind of a banal statement came from an acquaintance male who is supposedly ‘well raised’, married and earning well. And it is here, I realized it ain’t those goons sitting on Highways to hunt down women that are more dangerous because, they are beyond repair and are rabid. No cure, sadly. But these men, ‘ literate ones’ who drive fancy cars, travel around the world, date women wherever they go and, also get married….are worse!

Yesterday, I had posted about how the voice against sexual abuse is finally finding its groove through social media. And, I find a comment from the said ‘ educated’ man stating that the reason these women voiced their grievances so late is because ‘they enjoyed the favours until they lasted and then, when the favours stopped, they had to find means to get them again!’ This was again pushed under the cloak of ‘two sides to a story’ et al.

Why? Why?

It isn’t even about the gender divide. Where did the basic empathy fly off to? That genuine feeling that comes for someone who has been through hell and is, finally finding the voice again – where did that feeling ‘I get you!’ go?

And, for all the bullshit arguments that are propping up about how these women could have retorted and fought……let me give you three of the million examples on how women actually got treated when they tried….

1. What happened to Sonali Mukherjee? An aspiring NCC cadet who was eve teased and when she retorted and even approached the police, she was scarred for life with an acid attack!

2. What happened to Suzette Jordan? (RIP Suzette) Just because she drank at a pub, made her a core reason for the rape that followed? And when she fought for her dignity (the way she was treated after the incident was more shameful), there were people who said….she had it coming because she chose a place and time for her indulgence, not adhering to ‘moral’ standards ‘dictated’ for women!

I was appalled. Somewhere the woman inside me felt like having been kicked in the gut.

3. What happened to the 1999 Bokaro gang rape victim? A very bright XII girl who retorted to eve teasing, made a police complaint only to experience a gruesome gang rape that left her a mental patient until her demise a few years later.

Please don’t tell me that these women were ‘complicit’ or ‘weren’t strong enough’ to fight back! Because, if you do, you are a REAL THREAT to every woman you meet!

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There are countless examples of women who have fought back, of women who have voiced their displeasure and discomfort and, of women who have borne the scars for life knowing that their time for retribution will also come.

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I usually don’t react to banal statements and, that kind of explains why I don’t follow Twitter much. That one platform is a shitstorm where ugliness gloats in all glory. But then, yesterday I was appalled to see statements on a post I had shared…and thos particular comment questioned the intent of women coming out with allegations against famous personalities. And then, came a very interesting pointer from the guy that women demand equality only when it suits them.

Of course, I am reminded time and again that the world is full of people of all shades, some of them actually bring out your dark side too!

All I could do is sigh!

A grown up man, an acquaintance, a married one at that…who has a sister, who believes he has travelled the world and feels that other countries treat their women better, saying derogatory things about women of one’s own country like “these women were complicit because they did not scream then” reflects one undisputed fact –

“Character building begins at home!”

And somewhere, the mothers who raise their sons like the Sarpanch from NH10 (played by Deepti Naval) are to blame! Completely!

Mothers who raise the sons and, either choose to remain silent to their wards’ disdain towards opposite gender or, choose to fan the flames of chauvinism are responsible for all the scum walking on earth! These men get used to the routine of looking down upon their sisters, their female subordinates at work, their wives and then, there are so many to ogle around! Who cares? And why not? Ogling is ‘harmless’ and, is ‘fun’ too!

Every grave crime always started with some ‘harmless fun’ that never got questioned/cornered/corrected!!

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And today, when women are finally finding their voice again after decades, the tendency of the world arises only to snub them more than believe them.

Let me add…it took a collective of over 70 voices in Hollywood to bring down Weinstein and, to note here…..These voices helped in a speedy route towards ensuring that crime never pays!

Two sides to a story huh?? Well, then pray tell why the voice on the side of perpetrators is even unable to whisper ‘I am innocent’!??

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Dear men, your education and your work experience can hop off a cliff if you cannot feel your gut flip for women who survived rapes and acid attacks! Your kind of men seriously need to be confined in an asylum!

And please, no more of #NotAllMen crap!!

Because if you truly belong to #NotAllMen, the first step would be to atleast attempt to believe the victim/survivor and NOT take a morally neutral stand of “Who knows? There are two sides to every story!”

Remember, the world is as unsafe for women as for men… so better, grow some balls and, stand for fellow humans in the need of the hour!

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