Failure is seen as a bad word. Always. I am no exception. It just comes naturally to us to dodge failures, avoid failures, beat failures. Isn’t it? But while we are busy making sure of getting the failures off our back, we have missed a crucial point – Has any success ever come with no failure? And if it did, has it not encountered it later?
Something prompted me to write about why children need to come face to face with failures more, to understand the importance of success. After all, when success arrives at your doorstep, it is not you alone who is the sole owner of it. All those people who helped you arrive at this point (even if it is a tapri ka chaiwala), deserve a part in that success. However, failure absolutely and utterly belongs to you and you alone. And it is precisely why, failures guide you better if you listen to them carefully. Superficially, failures bruise your ego. Rejection kills your motivation on the surface. But for a soul to feel the success, he would always listen to voice of the failure which says – “Common! you deserve the best!”
So, here is my post on Parentous which is a 2 part series. Below is the first part:
Come children, let’s talk about failures- Part 1! (An excerpt from my write up).
“When I worked as a preschool teacher earlier, I was irrevocably drawn towards student psychology. Although I handled preschool, I was also in a position to interact with students who were in eleventh and twelfth grade. It seemed as though I was a part of two different worlds, each oblivious of the other’s existence. My preschool kids were innocent, loving and obedient. They absorbed every word I spoke, like a sponge. I still remember how the kids used to fight for the first bench. But then, ever since I made it a point to walk around in class while teaching, the fights stopped. My kids mastered the art of head rotation with their eyes and ears following my gait and sound. You can say, I was their mother teacher. They took my scolding with the same grace as they received my love and care.
However, when I interacted with teenagers in the same school, I realized communication could not get any tougher than this…………………..” Click here to read the whole article.
As much as Math, English, Chemistry and Biology showered their benevolence over me, Physics, for unknown reasons continued to be my Achilles’ heel throughout my school life! I loved the concepts of optical lenses, induction motors and electromagnetic waves. What I did not love was to solve the book ofPradeep’s in twelfth grade! Now, before I digress, the intent to write this post sprang up from a lovely memory that would last with me for a lifetime. It was the day I was going to give my Physics board exam……..
Me:“He is not even 5 years old! Sending him all by himself in the bus? I am not sure!”
Dad:“If you are going to put on that impermeable cloak of fortification in parenting every single time…you will end up hampering his ability to understand his own way of discovering his real self! He is not a baby, after all!”
Hubby:“Dad is right! Let him learn the art of rumbling and tumbling on his own!”
Mother:“Believe me! He is going to enjoy his first step into the world out of his cocoon!”
As the three pairs of eyes gave me intense looks, the fourth pair of eyes joined in as they looked up to me in sheer excitement. My son, Arjun grins as he asks me, “Mom! Am I going to school in that big Army bus? Wow!”
I sighed as I looked up at three pairs of eyes giving me that look – “Come on!” And I sighed as I said aloud – “Let’s do it!” After all, why would I not give in to that sweet voice of my munchkin who hides every mischievous trick up his sleeve?
How good does it feel to dish out advice to someone who has just become a new parent. I am not going to lie! I also have succumbed to the urge of dishing out advice to parents younger to me. The urge I gather, stems from the richness of experience that we as parents have experienced so far. However, my views on the subject have undergone a paradigm shift after I began teaching preschoolers. And now, I know why parenting can never have an instruction manual, as is assumed by many! To know why, read this excerpt from my post on Parentous.
“The other day, one of my colleagues mentioned how a teenage boy in their colony got extremely agitated and violent when denied a bike by his parents. The boy was predictably pampered. And his frustration grew out of bounds on one refusal! Thankfully, all the teachers from his school arrived in a van to counsel the teen and the distraught parents. The noise about their flawed parenting was louder than their whimpers of helplessness. My colleague felt incredibly sorry for the couple and how little she could do for them, as they were in a tight spot, impervious to the world. Another colleague made a harsh comment on the same discussion– ‘The boy must be thrown out and told that he is on his feet from now on. Who does he think he is!” Is it that easy? Most of the comments that came from all directions had acerbic undertones.
I have often observed around me, parents taking great pride in seeing their toddlers navigate through websites, games, apps and what not. As one of my colleague says, “Ma’am, there are so many learning apps for a child. Also, the child remains busy for a while”. The first part of her statement, I get it. But then, not the second part. Busy? really? I doubt. I am not convinced about this idea of introducing toddlers to technology at such a nascent stage. If you perhaps ask me the right age for a child to be introduced to technology, I would probably say – anytime after 12. Of course, we need to evolve with modern day parenting too! Right? And till then, I guess we as parents, should raise our children in a way that they are crazy for sports and academics (as in the real world studying with books around. Trash the ‘e’!)
So, all these thoughts made me pen down something for Parentous.com. Sharing an excerpt here 🙂
“This has been long on my ‘have to blog about’ list. Somehow, I did not have the time or the energy to pen down the thoughts that have been bubbling effervescently in my head ever since I stumbled upon an online discussion on one of the forums on Facebook. The debate was about kids and technology – whether we should them to get too cozy with technology. And if yes, how much?
“Growing up with grandparents is a privilege few are blessed with. I grew up in a big house, a comfy neighborhood and in a town that is more progressive than many cities I have lived in. But the one thing I missed in my childhood was growing up with grandparents……………………………………………………………………………………………………..But, God has been kind but in mysterious ways. I am blessed with a hubby who is my best friend! I have an adorable three plus year old son, Arjun who treats me like his sibling. And then, there is my extremely patient father-in-law who is always ears for my dramatic monologues no matter how boring they are. Last but not the least; I am blessed with the world’s best parents, who are exactly the grandparents for my son, hubby and I had always wished for, ourselves! This post is totally dedicated to all the cool grandparents in the world!” – An excerpt from my post on Parentous