*****”I know everything” is a dangerous delusion****


I remember a certain incident in my teens when my father and I were having a heated argument over some political debate that was happening live on TV. My father being the wise man he is, left the argument midway letting me delude myself into believing that he conceded defeat.

For the uninitiated, my parents and I actively followed politics at one tim, read all political magazines and sometimes, re read them to get points to debate on. My mum would support a party X. My dad would, a party Y. And in those days, given that mum was also my academic mentor, most of my views were more in sync with hers. Looking back, I had the best childhood because in my home, two of us at any given time would always be reading! I still remember how mum and I would fight to get our hands on the India Today special edition and she would seal the fight pointing out how many questions I have not yet answered in the Physics paper she had prepared for me!

Those were the days when all three of us would sometimes silently read our books like there was no tomorrow. It was only last year when we were moving to a new place, we all sat in awe and silence at the heap of books we had accumulated over the years. My parents have reached the stage in their lives where hoarding anything instantly brings a cringe on their faces. So yes, many of the books were given away except the stack of PG Wodehouse collection that travelled with them to their new abode.

And, by habit…I have deviated again.

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So, in those days when my father and I would indulge in debates, I having inherited my mum’s retaliation tactics with zero mutation, would tell him, “Dad! There is either right or wrong! There There can’t be anything inbetween!”

Being the cool camper he is..he would smile and tell me, “Politics is not only a wide ocean of facts and fabrication of facts…..it is as deep too. Also, history was written by few that saw events from their perspective. The truth is there…but is only visible as a tip of an iceberg. Don’t believe everything you read, see or hear….”

Of course, I always believed I would never deviate from my opinions and that, what I believed in had to be true!

And then, life smirks and decides to break that illusion and, how!.

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It has been approximately more than 12 years since my graduation and, how my opinions have undergone a paradigm shift, is quite a revelation. Many things that I was conditioned to believe in, bit dust when I explored some of the ‘Dont’s’ myself! I have had the opportunity and privilege (thanks to a very liberal parenting at home) to try out every experience and learn from it, first hand. Not that I have tried all, but I have, some of the all that I thought I never would try.

So, what is it I am decluttering here, about?

It is to remind self that I have still a lot to unlearn yet. A decade before, when my father tried to teach me about why it was better to be a good listener and act dumb in a crowd that debates to be proved right, I rubbished his advice. Debating then, was an itch I couldn’t resist scratching! Back then, I had to give a piece of my mind. I had to prove that my piece of mind sealed the argument, the best!

And then, post marriage i learned from my husband about how right my father had been in advising. The husband helped me see the wisdom in restraining words, something that I was constantly advised about my whole life by my father. It was in those years post marriage when I did let the words out and later, the husband would point out how I could have preferred being smart over dumb by knowing how and when to respond rather than reacting like a volcano.

It took me a long while to detach myself from the three A’s that my father advises me against – Arasiyal (Politics), Aanmeegam (Religion/spirituality) and Avargal (talking about others). Of course, I am not fully detached from the last one! That is going to take some time though.

Anyways, I have finally reconciled with the bizarre truth that Truth about anything and everything has many sides and at any given time, we only get to see one side of it.

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Now, there is a good reason why I wrote this post.

Apparently, one of the youth I know recently developed very strong opinions on religion and politics over the past few years, some of which were a bit too harsh.

Well, I am not aware what it is that frenzies him Into a very confused form of loyalty towards ideologies that are usually woven by politically motivated humans with sinister agendas. But I assume, nothing stirs the wok of simmering emotions as a highly passionate peer group.

(Peers are sometimes stronger than parents when it comes to influencing!)

I did see a part of me in him because his way of expressing anger at his age is very similar to the way of mine in my early adulting years. Yes, I know it is a phase. But then, I sure grew in better times too.

For the youth today, however, words must tread with caution.Because, stating harsh opinions based on skewed ideologies is dangerous in current times, wherein noone really knows the other fully and yet, judgments are passed as final with a hundred percent conviction.

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The sad part is we are all assuming that we have our freedom to speak.

Nope.

We are only speaking what we have been conditioned and brainwashed to believe in. That chain has to break some day.

Tough times these are.

But, I have hope.

Everyone comes around. Everyone. It is just how and when time decides with its partner destiny.

#NarayaniInPonderLust

#FleetingThoughts

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Crests & Troughs


**Wavalengths and Frequencies be your answer to your reprehensible problems and incorrigible solutions**

The creation of man is an enigma. On one hand, they say…blood is thicker than water. While on the other, life comes with its own quirky one liner – “Every man has to carry his own cross. No one else will carry it for you.”

This conflict in the anthropological society of ours has always led me to delve more into wavelengths and frequencies as applied to society.

Talking of which, I just googled the definitions that were long lost in the mangled neurons of my brain. And, allow me to digress as the same blackhole of my brain had also gobbled up the info on the location of the gold studs that I safely placed but forgot where.. Yes, I can at times be a hugely antisocial and absolutely mental goofball who feels totally out of place among everything at times.

And see…how the digressing got me to the bothersome conjecture of my riddlesome persona that, for some reason has evolved into someone that hates being in a crowd that has nothing to give and worse, nothing to be given either!

This is exactly where the definitions of wavelengths and frequencies appear from the newly stacked memory blocks thay just retrieved the coveted information from Google..

Wavelength is the distance between two successive crests and troughs whereas Frequency is the number of cycles per second.

Somehow, I am trying to understand the significance of these definitions in my life and, how my equations have undergone a major paradigm shift in sync with their interpretations, since last year.

Like I mentioned earlier…it is strange that man is a social animal despite the ‘human intellect’demonstrating otherwise. Because, every creation in this world craves for a double. Even Noah”s arc made place for two in each species instead of one. The idea of the couple thing is perhaps not just to procreate life but to give something to it that in turn shall be passed down to future generations genetically.

But wait! That is just the basic part of the whole shebang! And when we come down to basics, there is a lot connected with the ‘crests and troughs’ of our thoughts, our vibes, our words and, our actions. So, when all the four match, the frequency of ‘crests and troughs’ increases and the connection progressively strengthens with time. One of those reasons when and where… you feel absolutely no inhibition in presence of a few with whom your mind can operate without filters. I call that bliss!

However, you also do find yourself in a crowd, where nothing makes sense to you. No vibing happens. And so, there is a zero connection. You simply don’t fit in the crowd because the crowd is not just from a different plane of existence but worse, it is from a different galaxy alltogether. And still, till that point, the tolerance continues to persist until…..

….UNTIL THE CROWD ATTEMPTS TO INVADE YOUR SPACE…..

SACRILEGE !!

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So, while I am persistently hoping that I shall find my tribe some day….just like I found in 2013…., I am also learning to deal with people whose ‘crests and troughs’ are absolutely topsy turvy as compared to mine (or, mine is…as compared to theirs)

Yet, on some days….I give in to the dormant primal instincts in me….and lend ears to rubbish that is more harmful than useful. I sometimes wonder, what would really happen if I stop taking calls from a few people and, simply shut them out of my life because their existence in my life is absolutely fruitless. However, that would be an extreme. So instead of giving in to the strong internal resistance I harbour towards any crowd that is more curious about my headspace, I try to awkwardly and inconspicuously fit in a way where I can take the flight mode from the nearest exit whenever I want.

Is that helping me? I am not sure.

But I can say with conviction that I am not missing out much given the TRPs of gossips and, rumours fueled further by gossips have no relevance in any world…whatsoever.

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It is also strange how I don’t like to hear about any one, rather any one..even from my near and dear ones. Maybe the current crowd I survive in discusses people so much that any discussion of people wants to make me gag! It is like the more you want to shut a few acquaintances out of your life, the more that want to be a part of your life. And boy, is that tough?

It is at this point in time, I realize that sometimes, we don’t have a choice when it comes to choosing company, even if the company we want to choose be just ourselves. It is quite a predicament when we cannot even remotely associate with some people and yet, we are somehow placed around those people much to our chagrin. It is as though life is testing our wits and, is conducting some kind of a stress test to evaluate our ductility and malleability in unfavourable situations.

Coming to think of it, it all comes down to Science. It is as though the laws of SCIENCE work smooth as along as there are no hostile and unfamiliar parameters that never made appearance before. I vividly remember the last 30 minutes of the movie Lucy wherein Scarrlet Johansson explains to Morgan Freeman about why 1 + 1 is not always 2. A vehicle that moves at a speed of 60 kms/hr disappears from the frame when the speed becomes infinite.

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TIME is a strange thing. It is the holder of destinies and, keeper of historic moments, both acceptable and incomprehensible. I recount how a decade back, I was a social butterfrly who loved interacting with people. I loved attention and, tried hard for success. I wanted some kind of appreciation from the world then. The one thing I vividly remember from that time was, I lacked peace. I lacked patience and inportantly, I lacked the wisdom to ignore what was of little use to me.

A decade later, I am more at peace today. I also DON’T seek attention now. Rather, I get uncomfortable WITH any kind of attention. It is as though there is a certain power in doing something worthwhile and yet, staying inconspicuous. And now, I know why those words stuck in my head….those words that are exchanged between Capt JACK sparrow and Capt Teague in the movie…Pirates of the Carribean (At world’s end)

Jack: You’ve seen it all, done it all. You survived. That’s the trick, isn’t it? To survive?”
Teague: “It’s not just about living forever, Jackie. The trick is living with yourself forever.

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Yes, and to live with oneself each day could be the experience of highest heavens or deepest hells…..because either way, you need to tune your ‘crests and troughs’.

Apparently, once your ‘crests and troughs’ reach a higher level, it is almost impossible to bring them down.

And, that is exactly how life mentors. It gives you situations and people who, you cannot imagine dealing with…And then…it introduces the mysterious time that teaches you the hard way…’Tact is one important skill….it teaches you to survive by a whisker and live with yourself with no loose ends…”

However it also means walking on a THIN LINE all the time because, patience is a virtue and, a crowd is no place for It!

So, how do you handle your ‘crests and troughs’?

When the layers peel off…..


…the new skin burns until it blends with MOTHER Nature….

******The changes that we embrace…the inhibitions we discard and… love that we acknowledge..is what life repeats every single day….to us*****

About a decade back, I was not exactly an animal lover. I wasn’t someone who would feel overwhelmed by a gush of mommy love if I saw a pup on road or, even felt the slightest drive towards petting any animal, let alone parenting him or her. My roommate on the other hand was a dog person who had two dogs back home.. those were the days…..when work life consumed most of me leaving me little time to eat or sleep.

Cut back to years later, as an army wife, I transformed quite slowly, painfully and yet steadily from a highly emotional hot headed girl into a mellowed down and much calmer and happier woman. Life and, life experiences do that to you. I can hardly relate to someone I was a decade back.
It is as though some layers of my personality just peeled off and, the more those layers unravelled, the deeper I connected with my new self THAT I was hardly aware of. The painful part in my transformation came to me in the form of an ailment that first brought me down on my knees, turned any kind of existing arrogance to dust and, made me the human that surrendered to the Universe with whole heart and soul. Trust me, as frightening as it was, it was also the moment of epiphany for me. There is much more to this world than the mere routines in life that we chain ourselves to.

And then, that year also marked my friendship with my neighbour’s canine, an Indie that was adopted by them when the pup, some months old was hit by a vehicle and hurt its leg bad, so bad that he was named 3 wheeler. But, before it became 3 wheeler, the pup and I were sworn enemies. Reason? He used to get his two siblings and, shit in front of my door positively every day and run away. Well, that year not just marked his destiny but mine too.

I don’t exactly remember what time of the year it was….but then, after all the war that my immune system waged against me, I came out a different person. Hungry, humbled and absolutely open to almost everything in life. At the time, 3 wheeler had recovered and was sprinting on his four legs…..If I have known and understood kindness…that profound…..I know it in my ‘life long’ padosan… Navkiran… the way she and her husband tended to that injured canine….was what had my attention and I believe, that was the time I started bonding with canines, which I never would have thought of in the parallel universe I had left behind. The two years that we spent together, I saw a friendship that formed between my son and 3 wheeler (the name stuck), between my son and Nav, between her and me and between me, Nav and Saroj (yes…I can still visualise how 3 used to greet you…. 😂😂) was something THAT I would cherish for a lifetime.

That was first of the zillion times, my son demanded we have our own canine too…the one that he could play with, study with, walk with, sleep with… I wasn’t sure then.

And then, we had a phase where the place we moved to, was infested with monkeys. Monkey fear is quite brutal. The years weren’t devoid of health woes either. So, any thoughts about adopting a canine took a back seat again while the son’s interest in animals was fueled further by the large monitor lizards that resided in our garden…

But with time, however I also noticed how I felt easier and more composed in presence of canines. Sometimes, when I went on long walks, a couple of them would follow me and, instead of an older version of my self that would have instantly took the flight or fight option, I just let them walk with me. They would sometimes drift away inbetween. And, I never minded.

Last year in the new station, a stray entered our home (the door was accidently left open) and hid behind the door in fear as crackers were being burst around. It was Diwali time. Since we had to leave for another place, one of our kind friends who has a canine back home, picked him up gently and placed him under the chair of out porch. We also left two pillows around him and placed a bedsheet on him with a bowl of water beside. The son was convinced that, that he was going to be our family soon. We came back late in the night and found the canine a bit more relaxed and comfortable. The son had decided that come next day, he will get to announce to his mates in school…”so what If you have siblings….I have someone better….I have a dog!”

Ok. Nothing like that happened.

The dog left on its way the very next day. The son sulked for a week. And that was also the time when the son began watching dog rescue missions and, is now more determined than ever to adopt one.

Then, a few weeks later, a small furry pup strayed into our backyard and looked forward to playing with me while I was drying clothes on the cloth line. The son looked at me and said…”See…God sent him here….we must take him in...” however, seeing the pup, I realized he was not only small but was probably still taking feed from his mother… On instinct, I instructed my son to take the pup out to see if the mother was around. Thankfully, the pup joined its mother and went away….

The son sulked for more than a week and now started watching videos on ‘how to make kennels for canine?’ On YouTube…

I thought it was a phase for him, not realizing when I had started harbouring similar feelinfs towards canines….and then the pattern appeared…

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While I would sit in the backyard soaking in the morning Winter Sun, there are these two strays that often stroll during late mornings….and, would nestle against my feet. Sometimes, they come to only be petted by my son who is now surer that his sibling in future would be a canine.

Recently, we visited a friend whose neighbour’s canine, a black Labrador that we never met before, walked up slowly and brushed itself warmly against my knees and went on licking the son who could have spent the whole day getting licked…happily 😍😍

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As I reflect on my perceptions of canines over a decade, I think I might have just unlocked a place in my heart that actually loves these wonderfully warm creatures that give love and only love in untold ways. As for me, I have advanced from a dog fearing human to a dog loving woman who is happy when strays follow her around….

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So, will we have a canine in future? I don’t know the answer as there is no finite closure to our desires. But yes, whenever that happens (which is a certainty in one way or the other), I look forward to becoming the worthy parent that the canine we adopt would ask for.

And, the son recently discovered that there is an animal shelter home in the place we currently live in. We are surely not in a hurry. But, the son feels we can begin to share our love with small steps by visiting animal shelters.

Let’s see what the Universe has in store for us. Because, through a child’s eye everything impossible is possible and, a canine’s affection makes it possible for the child.

May the future lead us to the four legged canine baby that is destined to complete our family. God bless… 😍😍

#JoysOfMotherhood

#NarayaniInPonderLust

*****Fears.. far from being realized..will manifest sooner or later..*******


1. I wonder what will happen if by some strange twist of destiny….the Internet repository is violated and, some brute gets control over thoughts of people …? MOVIE: .. TRANSCENDENCE, though done poorly brings out a very scary possibility. The idea could be laughed upon but, it’s possibility cannot be ruled out….Our very own uniterrupted submission to the Internet is like a chain smoker confident of quitting smoking. The experience while is enjoyable comes with its own Trojans with sinister agendas.

2. The first time I read about pig’s DNA being injected into human DNA…was in some Robin Cook’s novel “SHOCK…and the plot did give me sleepless nights in school… as it was horrifying to read about the two women protagonists that set out to find what happened to the eggs they donated and..the shock that shakes their core about how their eggs have been experimented with injecting pig’s DNA…

and now years later….there is an article floating around that some experiments on similar grounds are being carried out… highly probable that it is false but then…that very thought is scary again…. after all…there is no smoke without fire.

3. When Shakespeare said….”The world is a big stage…and each one of us is an actor here…“….little did he know that he was predicting a future that literally would sync with those words. Because…..the world today is indeed a stage and everyone loves to wear a mask..a presentable one in the virtual world. Happiness is like a perennial season on the Internet….the obsession with looking perfect, the craze for positive acknowledgement and, the addiction to be a part of the virtual world feels so unreal and yet, is so real.

4. I guess with time….the virtual world has succeeded in giving us a false sense of freedom where we assume we are allowed to think and speak at will. On the contrary, it is altering our brains, our thoughts, our actions and our perception of the world around us. No, we aren’t free…but chained..rather, watched with a hawk’s eye. Isn’t it strange that you window shop for something ON a website and, suddenly there are ad feeds of the same products coming to you on other social media platforms. It is as though your likes, dislikes, orientation, choice of colours etc are being collated to create an image of you. Strange.. these things evade the normal eye or, is more often than not, ignored as harmless adware. Well…even a Trojan appeared harmless! And, the rest is History.

And then, there are opinions and more opinions…..One controversial statement leads to mudslinging between strangers who don’t even know each other and within minutes, would be vying for each other’s blood. The basic intelligence is replaced with misplaced retaliation….and the moment you react to a baseless statement, all you have done is add more value to the garbage and putting it in spot light for everyone to see. What is worse is how friends have turned foes over such differences. And that is exactly how minds are altered.

5. Cyber crime is going to be the most henious of all crimes in times to come. It is not just breach of security but invasion of privacy from unseen predators and, it ought to have far more terrible repercussions than the anticipated real world horrors. Rather..it will become the one root cause for real life horrors. Even as articles about child abuse circulate, it doesn’t really stop people from thinking. Every time, someone mentions their whereabouts on social media irrespective of any occasion ….that someone is (un)knowingly subjecting himself/herself to more risks than the ones lurking in the real world. A couple of years back, a news reported about how photos of little children were surfacing on adult sites and, even as those pages and sites were pulled down by the Internet, the exposure done was damage done already.

Unfortunately….humans know it all ….but arrogantly assume that unfortunate things happen to others and, not to them. The catch is, unfortunate things happen NOT ONLY because there are bad elements out there in the real world BUT more because, either humans chose to be pseudo intellectual by proclaiming ‘Yeah! We know everything! We are all well protected!“. What is far WORSE is being ignorant and letting oneself be carried away by the glam of virtual world.

Ignorance ISN’T bliss.

5. I have been playing word cross and scrabble for a while on my phone app. And, there are ads that play in between…initially I dismissed the ads..and then, there was a whole genre of such ads that kind of introduced some interactive story play that dealt with forbidden territories. Now…imagine a five year old kid playing scrabble on phone and he sees images bordering on adult themes…which I am sure, must be happening. While parents feel swell about kids playing puzzles on phone, they may be oblivious to the ads that pop in between. If people still believe that phones are substitutes for meaningful human company/books, they are sadly mistaken. Rather, they are just choosing to stay oblivious to the kind of mind alterations the phones are capable of inducing in the young minds. Besides, children are visual creatures. And…visuals always have a deeper impact than sermons. It is better for modern day parents to sit with kids while the latter use phones to play games..or, monitor their activities.

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I am old school about many things in life. One of them is about limited social circles in real life. I AM STILL a fan of those printed photographs and prefer them to digital ones..in those times….people did have fun, also clicked photographs but did NOT feel the need to share on a public domain.

Because…. it was not seen as some requirement then.
Because…people were genuinely happy going on outings together with no compulsion to look good…
Because….people were happy doing REAL time farmville and board games.

But then, to each…his own.

Strange that social media has got the earthlings closer and yet, people prefer typing HBD Than calling up the concerned person to wish Happy birthday…

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Science is a boon. Technology is a boon.

But, it is the addiction that is a bane.

It is the attention that we seek, that is a bane.

It is the reaction that we give there

Does that mean that Animals and birds lead a far happier life than humans? Something to ponder over….

Healing: the beginning in untold ways


Healing comes your way in untold ways

On days cloudy and sunny…it don’t matter how those small beginnings begin to unfold and phase…..

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Three months back, I decided to take up Spoken English classes for a bunch of ladies, on a whim. I just wanted to escape my mundane routine and, my eyes and my brain were craving for something new. I wanted to escape a lot of things actually. And, truth to be told, I wasn’t even sure what those things were. Funny no? You sometimes don’t even know what you run away from and, why.

Are those shadows of menace, your situations or your attitude towards your situations?

Sometimes, the running begins even before the situations knock your door.

So, was it a lull I was going through? After working for almost a decade as a freelancer who never really faced dearth in work opportunities, I suddenly felt misplaced as the place evidently wasn’t complaint to my requirements. And, given my repulsion towards socialising (believe me, my pretense in a crowd ups my deception with finesse), I had my reservations about speaking up about the things that I would love to pursue. So before I digress into how I am more comfy within the walls of my persona, I would like to take the diversion from this post towards what I am actually feeling today after completing three month course as a SPOKEN English instructor.

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My feelings at the moment : Content and overwhelmed at the same time.

Today, while the ladies finished speaking about the many topics we discussed and brainstormed over in the past one month, my heart swelled with pride at how these women who at the beginning of the course would just NOT open their mouths to say anything except a goodmorning, spoke at length about the many self selected topics such as

“About Guru Granth Sahib”,
“Life in a village: a forgotten dream”,
“Pros and Cons of Technology”,
“About Success and Failure”,
“Protection against child abuse”,
“Relationship between a mother in law and daughter in law”,
“About the Sardar Patel statue recently erected in Gujarat”

And many more…………..

But the one topic, each of them spoke with passion and confidence was “About Army life”

And, it struck me then about why these women had such an impact on me as students. While they confided in me their fears and their joys, their inhibitions and passions and, their dilemmas and decisions and much more, I realized how much I actually wanted these women in my life. As much as they wanted someone to listen to them without judgments, I wanted the same too! And if the words that I spoke comforted them as listeners, I as a teacher was as comforted and warmly by their attention.

And mind well people, I realized in a profound way through this course on why – “Attention is the highest form of respect one could give anyone!!”

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Will I miss these women? A lot. A lot more than I could imagine.

I am going to miss their giggles when I narrated funny incidents from my life in the class and, their narrations about incidents from their lives in broken English that sounded sweet.

I am going to miss their hands up in the air when j would ask “Who is going to come and share in English about the topic they have chosen to speak about?”

I am also going to miss those funny fights among them while they couldn’t agree to sharing same topics with their mates!

I am pretty much going to miss the help they collectively extended to the ones that hadtrouble saying difficult words.

And, I am going to miss their quotes on the board that would be second to greet me a good morning after them.

I am going to miss their shyness.

I am going to miss their boldness that came later.

And, I am going to miss their sisterhood a lot, that sprang from their faith in me as much as I placed mine in them.

While I taught them, I stepped OUT of a world of idiosyncrasies, obligations and misplaced arrogance and, entered INTO a world of simlicity, attention and humility.

I was happy because I was comfortable in my own skin here. I came to teach here with an open mind and, the ladies came with an open mind too. None had airs about positions and, everyone just fit in my class like a glove!

And, how the twelve weeks passed!!

The word ‘jiffy’ wouldn’t do justice!!!

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I believe this experience is first of the many new beginnings in my life. And, I got atleast one reason to say so because last week, I happened to met one of my students at a shop and, her husband walked up to me and said, “Thank you ma’am….because I don’t know if she is learning English as well as you teach….but she is definitely a very happy woman after returning from your class”

The Universe always finds ways for us to repay it back with the rewards we earn. And the repayment is a wonderful quid pro quo because…even in that, the earning of goodwill is constant.

Maybe, I don’t have a ‘fetch’ career to rave about. Maybe, I don’t have the luxury of globetrotting yet.
Maybe, I don’t have the resources to aim my goalposts yet. (Because I am one ‘incy wincy spider’ in the present)

And yet, I am a happy soul. Because, when I asked for one diversion, I was blessed with avenues I never thought of.

And, this experience was one of the many that shed its invisibility for me.

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Small beginnings are those shining beacons of hope that there is yet a lot more to look forward to in this life.

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

P.S: One of the testimonials from one of my students…. who had a tough time giving an intro about herself and she ended up giving a speech today after three months!

****I Hate Puppet Shows****


I never enjoyed puppet shows. I never did.

As a child, I did not like them because they made little sense to me.

As an adult, I began despising them because they made absolute sense to me.

Puppets never inspired me ever. Even as a preschool teacher, I could not remotely relate to that concept. The very touch of those strings made me uncomfortable.

I would NOT know why…until adulting offered no choice to escape and, human driven conflicts made me realize why I hated them so much!!

Those strings!! They bothered me!!! Every time I watched the strings, something always churned at the pit of my stomach. Only then, I did not know why. Now, I do.

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The strings of puppets bother me. They hold back potential. And, anything that holds one back from doing something that the heart wants is plain unhealthy!

Look at a puppet and, it has offered some part or whole of the control over its exiatence to someone. Maybe, a puppet has no choice. But then, what if puppets were born with the belief that there is no choice?

We will come to that point in a while.

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So…looking deep into the context of puppets…….in some way or the other…we are all puppets…because…..somewhere, someplace a million collision of fates is determining some course of action in our lives. One can argue that destiny is in our hands….but then, who is to say how things shall unfold….it is strange how a million lives get impacted in unspeakable ways when a natural calamity strikes! Would one hold the forte of ‘Destiny in my hands’ even then?

Another basic example where puppet stringing happens is in, raising children. We subconsciously and more often than not, consciously puppet string them.

DO THIS!
DO THAT!
HEY! YOU FINISH YOUR PLATE! NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT!”
PLAY TIME OVER, MATE! NO MORE MOBILE BROWSING! TIME TO SLEEP!

And much more….but then, it is a requirement when we raise children. A depicable requirement, an evil necessity and a, difficult predicament where setting boundaries for children is important for them whether or not we like It! Why? The world ain’t safe enough for us to let our children evolve with zero inhibitions! As parents, the tiny speck of magma called fear keeps burning and, it reminds us from time to time why we got to embrace the strings as much as we despise them!

And then, there are many other moments like social gatherings and workplaces where we are held back by strings of ‘This will make someone angry and So, I shall tolerate it for my mental peace’ or, ‘being morally neutral keeps us safe’ or, ‘Not my problem (core reason for the #MeToo movement)’

Unfortunately, this kind of fear fans flames of arrogance and, weakens collective voices of reason.

So, you see how puppet stringing in two different contexts above mean different…..rather differently uncomfortable. Strange…..there is nothing to rave about puppet stringing and yet, the world would collapse without It!

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I am not sure about how destiny trumbles its fingers on the strings that hold us….And, I have no intention of hijacking its blue prints! Because some day I believe, eveything will fall in place and, everything will make sense.

Maybe, today is not that day.

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So, coming back to my earlier point on – what if puppets were born with the belief that they had no choice?

“Puppets are non living. They don’t have a choice any which way”

I guess that is plain arrogance of a man… confident about how his creation ought to function.

So pray tell, how different are we from puppets??

To some extent, each one of us is stringed.

No matter how vehemently one denies its existence, it is there. If you feel judgmental about It, you are yet to face a situation that would probably push you to disbelieve what you have been taught to believe.

Life is indeed a Russian Roulette. You have never seen it all. Till your last breath, I say! There is always a hidden riddle somewhere. And, the probability of a hit shall be as misleading as the miss. All said and done, there is no running away from this inescapable game of chance!

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And let’s talk about what is predictable in puppet stringing is how in certain aspects of life, it is reduced to a cheap thrill where a delusion is created and, the subjects are perceived as puppets and, must oblige no matter what. And no, puppets dare not voice their opinion because they aren’t supposed to.

So, what are puppets ideally supposed to do?

Listen, obey and keep quiet even if the human behind the strings is oblivious/non oblivious to their morally unjustified actions?

Not to mention, we are all guilty of having been complicit in the act of puppet stringing, personally and professionally.

Were there choices? Oh! There surely were. So, why were the choices evaded? Silence!

Here….the silence is not merely loss of words. It is also the loss of understanding why the choices were evaded.

Like my mum mentioned many years back ...”It is so easy to tell people to see the good and be optimistic about life. But do you know how difficult it is to feel the hurt…hurt that no-one chooses to understand because they never knew what it feels Like! Just remember, you need to follow what your soul guides you towards. The trick is to know which is the genuine voice among the muffled ones inside. And, no one can teach you that because you are born with that knowledge. And, only time has the key to unlock that riddle for you. Until then, enduring pain and hurt will be a part of life whether you like it or not!”

These words came to me at different times in life in bits and pieces….and it has taken me more than three decades of my existence to get a hang of the essence.

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And it is here, I often sit and ponder about how exhilarating it feels to proclaim love and affection for loved ones through many gestures…..but then would I experience the same catharsis if I could bare my head to some and, let know why they have lost all good faith and reapect and, whatever they are getting is just some kind of a pretense, a shield that stalls unpleasantness for some time.

Because….sometimes the words are just brimming on the side of the wok and, begin spilling over…..and there are desperate attempts to bring down the flame of anger by feeding self with ‘this too shall pass’…

Because, stalling unpleasantness is sometimes preferable to unpleasantness.

Because, at the end of the day….life is all about having less conflicts and nil negativity……who wants bitterness, right??

Because, words once spilled cannot be taken back!!

And that is precisely why I choose to remain guilty of being stringed for now.

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But then, isn’t it surreal to NOT know what it would be like to take a chance and see how the outcome unfolds by adhering to the puppet stringing art??

OR, how equally surreal it would be to know what it shall unveil should the strings be chopped off on an impulse???

Quite a predicament.

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Maybe, we are all either puppets out of choice….and at times, out of NO choice…..Because no two situations will ever be the same….no two reactions to the same situation will ever be the same. Maybe, we just need to buy the right time with patience and then, cut those toxic strings off when the iron is hot!!

Until then, STALEMATE 😎😎

And, GUILTY AS CHARGED FOR BEING a part of an art I fail to Like!

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#FleetingThoughts

#NarayaniInPonderLust

PS: And, this gives birth to a seed of thought for my next post –

What if puppets were born with the belief that they had choices?

“Puppets are non living. They don’t have a choice any which way”

The smirks are coming through in the head.

Stay tuned!! 😉😉

Someone said something nasty about women and, I did not like it.


There is something very disturbing about men who feel that women should fight back in cases of sexual harassment THERE and THEN because WHEN they DON’T, they are ‘COMPLICIT’ in the crime about to unfold.

This kind of a banal statement came from an acquaintance male who is supposedly ‘well raised’, married and earning well. And it is here, I realized it ain’t those goons sitting on Highways to hunt down women that are more dangerous because, they are beyond repair and are rabid. No cure, sadly. But these men, ‘ literate ones’ who drive fancy cars, travel around the world, date women wherever they go and, also get married….are worse!

Yesterday, I had posted about how the voice against sexual abuse is finally finding its groove through social media. And, I find a comment from the said ‘ educated’ man stating that the reason these women voiced their grievances so late is because ‘they enjoyed the favours until they lasted and then, when the favours stopped, they had to find means to get them again!’ This was again pushed under the cloak of ‘two sides to a story’ et al.

Why? Why?

It isn’t even about the gender divide. Where did the basic empathy fly off to? That genuine feeling that comes for someone who has been through hell and is, finally finding the voice again – where did that feeling ‘I get you!’ go?

And, for all the bullshit arguments that are propping up about how these women could have retorted and fought……let me give you three of the million examples on how women actually got treated when they tried….

1. What happened to Sonali Mukherjee? An aspiring NCC cadet who was eve teased and when she retorted and even approached the police, she was scarred for life with an acid attack!

2. What happened to Suzette Jordan? (RIP Suzette) Just because she drank at a pub, made her a core reason for the rape that followed? And when she fought for her dignity (the way she was treated after the incident was more shameful), there were people who said….she had it coming because she chose a place and time for her indulgence, not adhering to ‘moral’ standards ‘dictated’ for women!

I was appalled. Somewhere the woman inside me felt like having been kicked in the gut.

3. What happened to the 1999 Bokaro gang rape victim? A very bright XII girl who retorted to eve teasing, made a police complaint only to experience a gruesome gang rape that left her a mental patient until her demise a few years later.

Please don’t tell me that these women were ‘complicit’ or ‘weren’t strong enough’ to fight back! Because, if you do, you are a REAL THREAT to every woman you meet!

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There are countless examples of women who have fought back, of women who have voiced their displeasure and discomfort and, of women who have borne the scars for life knowing that their time for retribution will also come.

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I usually don’t react to banal statements and, that kind of explains why I don’t follow Twitter much. That one platform is a shitstorm where ugliness gloats in all glory. But then, yesterday I was appalled to see statements on a post I had shared…and thos particular comment questioned the intent of women coming out with allegations against famous personalities. And then, came a very interesting pointer from the guy that women demand equality only when it suits them.

Of course, I am reminded time and again that the world is full of people of all shades, some of them actually bring out your dark side too!

All I could do is sigh!

A grown up man, an acquaintance, a married one at that…who has a sister, who believes he has travelled the world and feels that other countries treat their women better, saying derogatory things about women of one’s own country like “these women were complicit because they did not scream then” reflects one undisputed fact –

“Character building begins at home!”

And somewhere, the mothers who raise their sons like the Sarpanch from NH10 (played by Deepti Naval) are to blame! Completely!

Mothers who raise the sons and, either choose to remain silent to their wards’ disdain towards opposite gender or, choose to fan the flames of chauvinism are responsible for all the scum walking on earth! These men get used to the routine of looking down upon their sisters, their female subordinates at work, their wives and then, there are so many to ogle around! Who cares? And why not? Ogling is ‘harmless’ and, is ‘fun’ too!

Every grave crime always started with some ‘harmless fun’ that never got questioned/cornered/corrected!!

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And today, when women are finally finding their voice again after decades, the tendency of the world arises only to snub them more than believe them.

Let me add…it took a collective of over 70 voices in Hollywood to bring down Weinstein and, to note here…..These voices helped in a speedy route towards ensuring that crime never pays!

Two sides to a story huh?? Well, then pray tell why the voice on the side of perpetrators is even unable to whisper ‘I am innocent’!??

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Dear men, your education and your work experience can hop off a cliff if you cannot feel your gut flip for women who survived rapes and acid attacks! Your kind of men seriously need to be confined in an asylum!

And please, no more of #NotAllMen crap!!

Because if you truly belong to #NotAllMen, the first step would be to atleast attempt to believe the victim/survivor and NOT take a morally neutral stand of “Who knows? There are two sides to every story!”

Remember, the world is as unsafe for women as for men… so better, grow some balls and, stand for fellow humans in the need of the hour!