#LifeStories
#LifeTales
If I have learned anything about life in my limited experience, it is this – Life is a sitcom of many seasons. Unlike the other sitcoms where one can choose to skip seasons, here you have to go through every season, both of pleasure and pain.
The last 6 years have been a huge learning curve for me. Too many downs at one point in time. There have been moments when I was riled up thinking, “Why me? Why us? What did we do?” And then slowly, the mind learned to accept the oddity. In our darkest hour, we always tend to think it is we who have suffered the most, not realizing that everyone around carries his or hell within. While some express in a healthy way, the others bring their demons out, driving away people, further and further away. But then, we cannot compare hells. For instance, a privileged kid not finding a college of choice may seem frustrating and hellish, given the peer pressures and societal expectations. But that cannot be remotely compared to the hell, an underprivileged kid goes through whose father is busy moving mountains to get him the education he deserves. You see my point. Hell is a misused word, or rather an overly abused word. What a privileged kid takes for granted more often than not, is what hell must mean for a kid who experiences and understands the lack of it.
I don’t write on an impulse these days. Earlier, most of my posts were impulse driven. Now, they are trigger driven.
Some time ago, I heard, how a well placed financially stable man had expressed his frustration about being stuck in a time loop, working harder than ever abroad, with no window of respite. Reason – money isn’t enough ever. There are still homes to be bought, assets to be made and, so much more to save for future generations. And then cut to present, I happened to see an old man fixing the ladder on the terrace of my parent’s home.
And, that is how privilege prodded me to write.
Meet Mr. AARUMUGAM, a 70 plus year old man. Has three children who are all married and well settled. He has grandchildren too. Mr Aarumugam own a cycle and a small NON Smart phone. He is a one man army who goes around the neighborhood fixing equipments and, repairing homes. He came at a time when my mother was feeling absolutely helpless about getting the repair work done at our home as she was not quite trustful of agencies that engaged in repair works, given some prior experiences in the city. Besides, age is catching up and, the onset of weakening bone density was not helping her much. But as, they say – The Universe sends you help exactly when you need it.
Mr. AARUMUGAM ARRIVES.
After a detailed and in-depth verbal resume of the various repair works he has done in many neighbourhoods, the first thing my mother asked him was – “Why do you do so much of hard work at this age? And why don’t you hire men when you can?”
His answer was simple – “I work hard because I can and, I don’t need anyone to take care of me while I can do myself. Lord Hanuman is also working with me when I work. Also, my father was a loan shark. I grew up on that money that came from misery. Somehow, this hard work is my way of redemption. As a child, I did not have a choice. Now, I have. Also, I cannot take or give instructions. Hence this successful one man show for many years.“
And, he slogs away happily on the terrace working the repairs as my mother had listed. Given his age, he takes a lot of time. My parents aren’t in a rush either given their age. My parents makes sure he has enough buttermilk, biscuits and tea while he works. Earlier, he had declined to take the refreshments but, my parents insisted. I have seen my mother make fresh tea and refreshments for anyone who comes home and repairs stuff. If the person declines, cool water is served always.
So, Mr. AARUMUGAM takes his own sweet time but, he does what he loves to do, with absolute deliberation and passion. The man may be 72 years old but, has the faith and passion of a 7 year old – both unlimited and infectious. He talks too much. At times, it gets redundant to listen to him repeat the history. But, Here is a man who has seen life from a different lens, and that made me think about the other man I mentioned earlier, a man who was working out of a compulsion that was driven by greed for more money and luxury. And then, there is Mr. AARUMUGAM who who wants to work because his soul is the happiest when he is riding his bicyle in Chennai’s unforgiving summers to buy the best quality products for his work. And, I chose to write about this one man army for 2 reasons –
1. He is good at what he does. Mum has been observing his work for over 3 weeks and, I for a week. His mind is constantly improvising as he welds and fixes the ladder.
2. Second, he enjoys what he does. It is as though he finds his ikigai in his work.
This man is a prime example of what privelege truly means.
Privilege is NOT living in fancy homes with house help, luxury cars, traveling by business class or, enrolling into top notch universities with money. Privilege is the freedom to be who you are, be where you are, know why you are the way you are and importantly, have the complete freedom to live life on your own terms WITHOUT being guilt tripped into believing that you have to slog away like an ass for your family till the last breath, even when your children are adults that can fend for themselves.
With all the money and luxury in the world, if you do NOT have the freedom to choose the way you want to live even in the last quarter of your life, then you have indeed deluded yourself into believing that your life in captivity is your Privilege.
In a world filled with men who are are driven to accumulate and secure wealth without knowing who or what they are securing it for eventually, men like Mr. ARUMUGAM explain why we are all completely entitled to live our lives on our terms once, our children have become responsible adults that are perfectly capable of taking decisions about their lives.
Coming to think of it, Privilege is a funny word in a funny world. While people leading a seemingly luxurious life look down upon the ones that lead a simple life, they often forget the place they came from once upon a time. They either forget or choose not to remember that, it is always the hard work, patience and financial acumen of the previous generation that led them into a life of opportunities that allows them today the luxuries they assume they have earned on their own. If one ignores the blessings of one’s ancestors, the sacrifices of one’s parents that have departed and, the tolerance of well wishers because status is always valued more than good will, it only means – one either don’t have a heart or, one’s soul is long gone.
Privilege is as misunderstood as luck. While it does mean access to better ways of life by the virtue of a healthy environment, privelege on its oblivious side also means the lack of itself. For, when none help, the Universe pitches and, in mysterious ways, takes a heavy gamble and places it’s bets on that one seed that is doomed to fail and yet, does so with the sole belief that the seed will NOT give up on itself.
And that rare seed is a testimony to that privelege – To know Privilege, one must also know what it means to be without.
While Mr. AARUMUGAM can lead a perfectly luxurious life with his earnings, he chooses to be a part of a world where he respects his profession and has the complete freedom of being who he is, on his own terms with no heed to what the world will say. He has no favours to give or take and, that puts him in a powerful position.
Sometimes, that kind of Privilege also goes by the name – courage. We often miss the point. Men like Mr. ARUMUGAM make it easy to NOT miss it.
Swimming in an ocean of thoughts..... 